


Happy Christmas

by chaWOOPa



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: 100 percent fluff right here, Agender Ray, Christmas, Fake AH Crew, Fluff, Gen, I am not kidding when I say fluff, Non-binary character, Pure, Trans Character, Trans Jack, Trans Michael, the relationships are all implied
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-09 02:39:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5522351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chaWOOPa/pseuds/chaWOOPa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Shh!” Ray put their finger to their lips. “Don’t tell him what Santa got him!”<br/>“There is so much booze over there that I can smell it from here, Ray. It doesn’t take a super sleuth to know what everyone got him. Also, Santa, Ray? We are grown humans.” Ryan laughed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy Christmas

“So Michael gets to open presents first, Right?” Michael said from on the couch next to Gavin. 

 

“I vote Ryan does,” Ryan called from the floor next to the fireplace. 

 

“I vote Geoff does,” Geoff laughed, “and because I am the boss, my vote is the deciding one.”

 

Ryan shrugged, still grinning. “Makes sense, I guess. Go ahead then, open your booze.”

 

“Shh!” Ray put their finger to their lips. “Don’t tell him what Santa got him!”

 

“There is so much booze over there that I can smell it from here, Ray. It doesn’t take a super sleuth to know what everyone got him. Also, Santa, Ray? We are grown humans.” Ryan laughed. 

 

“God, who got me this?” Geoff held up a bottle of dollar store grape juice, causing everyone to collapse into laughter except Ray.

 

“Hey, wait long enough and it will be wine, right?” Ray said seriously.

 

“I don’t think that’s how that works, Ray,” Jack laughed from her spot next to Geoff. 

 

“So who is next?” Gavin asked once Geoff had inspected each new bottle of Liquor, pausing to smile gently at Jack and Ryan in turn when he pulled out two bottles of his favorite wine.

 

“Ummm,” Geoff looked around at his crew, pretending to think about it. “Jack.”

 

“Awwe, thank you Geoff,” Jack laughed as she ripped into her presents. 

 

“Oh my God,” Michael nearly fell off the couch when Jack pulled the first present out of the wrapping. “Did you really get her a pack of dollar store razors, Ray?”

 

“Hey, it was all I could think of that was in the dollar store,” Ray grinned sheepishly.

 

“It’s the thought that counts,” Jack laughed as she pulled the next present into her lap. 

 

“Oh, Oh, That one is mine!” Ryan grinned. 

 

Jack pulled a small snow globe out of the festive bag. “Is that-?”

 

“Los Santos,” Ryan smiled proudly. “And it even has the crew on top of the tower.”

 

Jack smiled as she held it up to look at the tiny people on the top of the tower. “That is amazing!”

 

“Way to show everyone up, Ryan,” Geoff said.

 

“Oh, Yours is good too, Geoff. Don’t start pouting yet,” Ryan said. 

 

“How do you know what mine is?” Geoff said accusingly.

 

“Oh, I don’t,” Ryan said casually as Jack pulled Gavin’s badly wrapped present into her lap. 

 

“Let’s see what Gavin got me,” Jack said. She pulled the paper apart and burst into fits of giggles before anyone could see what it was. 

 

“Is that a good sign?” Gavin asked. 

 

“Yes, Gavin,” she smiled gently at him once she had calmed down enough. “I love it.” She held up a t-shirt and mug for everyone to see, each one saying some variation of ‘#1 Mom’. 

 

Gavin grinned and said, “It isn’t as good as Ryan’s, but I thought it was a good one when I bought it.”

 

“It is every bit as wonderful as Ryan’s,” Jack smiled as she put it on the table next to her and reached for Geoff’s present. 

 

“Open mine last,” Geoff said quickly. 

 

Jack rolled her eyes and grabbed Michael’s present instead, opening it carefully. “Oh my god,” Jack laughed as she held up a floral button-up. “I have this one already.”

 

“No you don’t,” Michael said, laughing. “You only have one of those.”

 

Ray choughed from their perch next to Ryan and said, “Only cause you got rid of the old one.”

 

“Gee, thanks for ruining it, Ray,” Michael laughed with the others. 

 

“Okay, now for Geoff’s,” Jack pulled a sleek black box out of the red and gold bag Geoff had handed her. She opened it carefully and let out a soft gasp when she saw what was inside. “Oh my God,” she whispered, a small note of reverence in her tone. She lifted a silver pistol out of the box and showed off the elaborate engraving all over it.    

 

“That is beautiful,” Ryan said. “Not as awesome as the body bag of explosives you gave me this morning that I am assuming is my Christmas present, but it is still beautiful.”    

 

“Way to ruin the moment, Haywood,” Geoff laughed. 

 

“I love all of my presents,” Jack said as she held the gun in her hand. “Thank you all.”

 

“Me next!” Ray said, not waiting for confirmation to rip into their present from Gavin. “Holy cow it’s so pretty!” Ray laughed as they held up a hideous bright pink and neon green bong. 

 

“I tried to find one that represented you and the crew together and I found a website where you could choose the colors that went onto it and so i choose the pink from your guns and the green of the crew,” Gavin said proudly.

 

“I love it,” Ray laughed before setting it down carefully and tearing into the next present. “This is the most amazing game I have ever seen holy shit,” Ray giggled as they held up a copy of  _ Try Not To Fart _ . 

 

“Good,” Michael grinned at Ray. “I spent maybe three days trying to find a game you didn’t have, and I came across this gem just as I was giving up.”

 

“It is perfect,” Ray said as they set it with Gavin’s present. “Which one is your’s, Jack?”

 

Jack pointed to the one wrapped in birthday wrapping paper, “That one. I ran out of santa paper.”

 

Ray giggled and opened the package to reveal a small glass music box. “Aw, how did you know I loved the-” they stopped talking and glared angrily at Jack as “mmm, whatcha say” started playing from the now open box. “I hate you.”

 

It took a full two minutes for everyone to stop laughing. “Okay, now that that disaster is over,” Ray said as they set the music box down carefully, “Ryan’s present.” They opened this one much more carefully, wary of any more memes. When he finally did finish opening it, he nearly cried. “How did you…?”

 

“It took a lot of looking, I may have had to threaten some people...” Ryan shrugged. 

 

“Gosh i haven’t seen one of these since I was, what, seven? I have been wanting this for so long,” They pulled a N64 from the box, holding it carefully. 

 

“Oh, there is more in there,” Ryan said. 

 

“Oh my God, where did you get these?!” Ray asked as they pulled a collector’s edition of Legend of Zelda; Majora’s Mask, a collector's edition of Pokemon Snap, and a collector’s edition of Super Mario World out of the box. 

 

“You really don’t wanna know,” Ryan said sheepishly. 

 

“Ryan probably stole them,” Gavin joked. 

 

“Is it stealing if the person they belonged to isn’t alive any more?” Ryan asked innocently. 

 

“Jesus Christ, Ryan,” Geoff choked out. 

 

“Hey,” Ray said as he slid closer to Ryan. “They are mine now, so who cares?”

 

“Get a room!” Michael teased from across the room. 

 

“Ray, think fast,” Geoff tossed a set of keys at Ray who caught them easily.

 

“What is this?”

 

“You like cars, right? I got you a pretty new car and a free paint job if you want it,” Geoff grinned. 

 

“Sweet,” Ray said, spinning the keys on his pointer finger. “So Michael is next, right?”

 

“What about me?!” Gavin asked.

 

“You can wait your turn,” Geoff laughed as he tossed Michael a new set of keys as well. “I got you a plane, you know, that jet you have been wanting for forever.”

 

“Holy shit, really?!” Michael grinned. 

 

“Really,” Geoff grinned. 

 

“Nice. Who’s present is next?” Michael reached towards his gifts but Gavin shoved one into his hand before he could grab one. 

 

“Open Mine, Mi-coo!” Gavin said. 

 

Michael rolled his eyes and flashed a fond grin at Gavin. “Why not?” he said as he tore into the wrapping on the gift. “Aww, Gavvers, you didn’t. The new Xbox? How sweet!”

 

“It is a one of kind one,” Gavin smiled. “It has the crew logo on it and it is white.”

 

“Thanks Boi,” Michael laughed as he reached for the next present. He pulled a small box off the top of his pile and opened it carefully before throwing it at Ray and completely missing because he was laughing too hard. “A get out of jail free card? Seriously Ray?” 

 

“What, I thought you might need it!” Ray laughed. 

 

“Whatever,” Michael rolled his eyes as he reached for the next present, this one from Ryan. “What did the masked Marauder get me for Christmas, I wonder?” He said as he pulled the wrapping paper off the surprisingly flat present. Before anyone could see what it was Michael was leaping over the glass coffee table and sliding on his knees to give Ryan a teary-eyed hug. 

 

Ryan chuckled a little as he hugged him and said, “I thought you might appreciate that. It was Jack’s idea originally. We both pitched in. She found the best person and we both put money towards it.” 

 

“What is it?” Geoff asked Gavin, who had his hand over his mouth as he read the paper Michael had dropped. “Read it out loud!”

 

“Michael Vincent Jones, you are hereby informed that Ryan Haywood and Jack Pattillo are going to pay for the entirety of your top surgery,” Gavin read to everyone. “That is amazing,” Gavin said, his mouth hanging open. 

 

“Thank you so much,” Michael laughed as he moved to hug Jack.

 

“I know how it feels to have a body that doesn’t match who you are,” Jack said quietly as she hugged him back hard. “It is the least I can do for someone who has done so much for me.”

 

Everyone was quiet for a minute as Michael collected himself and returned to his seat next to Gavin, grinning wider than he had in a long time. “Alright, your turn Gavin.”

 

Gavin grinned and ripped into the nearest present. He blushed and put the bag back on the floor without showing everyone what it was, causing Michael to lose it. “Not gonna show everyone what I got you?” 

 

“No Thank you, some things are better off between boyfriends,” Gavin said quietly, making Ray and Geoff groan and Ryan and Jack laugh almost as hard as Michael. 

 

“Okay, so next present,” Ray finally said.

 

Gavin nodded and reached for the next bag, this one from Jack. He grinned when he saw what it was and pulled it out of the bag to show everyone. “I have been needing new ones for a while, thanks Jack.” He put the new, gold-plated sunglasses on the table in front of him and grabbed Ray’s present. “Oh my God Ray, really?”

 

“You said you wanted new glasses!” Ray said defensively as everyone laughed at the glasses Gavin held up. There was a fake nose with a moustache attached to the frame with plastic eyeballs on springs hanging off the plastic lenses.

 

“The nose won’t even fit over his!” Ryan joked. 

 

Gavin put them next to Jack’s present and grabbed Ryan’s. “Should I be excited or scared?” Gavin asked as he pulled the wrapping paper off a plain brown box. He opened the end of the box and a grin spread quickly across his face as he pulled a new lighter out. It was silver with a small pair of golden glasses painted on one side and the phrase “have fun burning the world down” on the other. 

 

“Wow, Where did you get that Ryan?” Geoff asked. 

 

Ryan shrugged and Gavin said, “Regardless I love it.” 

 

“Here are  _ your _ keys, Gavin,” Geoff said as he threw them at him. “I got you a new Motorcycle and a paint job for it. I know your old one is impounded for now.”

 

Gavin smiled and thanked everyone before Ryan said, “My turn!” 

 

He pulled Gavin’s present over to him first. “So Gavin got me a 12-pack of diet Coke, nice. I was running low.” he smiled across the room at Gavin after he opened his present, then reached for the next one. As he opened it he said, “Geoff gave me his earlier, it was a literal body bag of high end explosives and expensive weapons of mass destruction. I was very thankful.” He flashed a grin at Geoff before pulling a small, fake flower from the box he had just unwrapped. “And Ray’s present, much like the boy himself, leaves much to be desired.” Ray made an indignant noise as the crew laughed and Ryan pulled him into a hug. “Kidding, kidding. This is Michael’s, right?” he let go of Ray, picked up a red and green bag, and showed it to everyone. 

 

“Yep,” Michael said.

 

“Awww, how did you know I love chocolate?” Ryan said as he pulled three king sized chocolate bars from his bag. 

 

“Uh, lucky guess?” Michael grinned sheepishly. 

 

“Indeed it was,” Ryan said as he reached for his last present. “So this is from Jack?”

 

“Yep!” Jack said. “Be careful with it, keep the side marked down down,” she said. 

 

“Of course,” Ryan said as he pulled the box open. “No,” Ryan gasped as he pulled a sad looking orchid out of the box. “You didn’t.”

 

“Oh, I did,” Jack smiled. “I did that the same time I gave Blaine his present.”

 

“For real?!” Ryan grinned at Jack. “You stole it right off Demaris’ desk?”

 

“While he was sitting there, even,” Jack said proudly. “Now you can stop whining about it.”

 

“So,” Geoff asked as Ryan mouthed a thank you to Jack. “We should do this again next year. right?”

 

“Hell yeah!” Ray said. 

 

“Shut up Ray, you got everyone’s presents from the dollar store yesterday, so your vote doesn’t count,” Ryan laughed. 

 

“Ah, but mine were wrapped very well,” Ray said.

 

Ryan rolled his eyes and Michael said, “I think we should. This was fun.”

 

“Ryan needs to tell us what he does for fun before Christmas next year though,” Gavin said. “I had a hell of a time trying to figure out what to get you.”

 

Everyone laughed and Geoff said, “I agree, this was a lot of fun.”

 

“Now,” Ryan said turning to Jack, “care to tell us what you got Blaine?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas guys! 
> 
> If you want to see the explanation for why Jack was getting Blaine a present you can look at my blog at http://ah-typical.tumblr.com/


End file.
